Miseries of Life - Assessment of Self (2)

1. After some time, many children were born, and the family's wealth had gone away. They became poor and began begging because they could not get anything to eat.
2. Some small children were crawling and playing, and one was still in the mother’s womb. Thus, the house became crowded with daughters and sons.
3. Day by day their expenses increased, and the income that they had previously stopped coming in. The daughters became of marrying age but there was no money (for dowry and wedding expenses) to get them married.
4. The man's parents (the grandparents of the family) were wealthy and had plenty of money. Thus they had prestige and were respected among the people.
5. Because of his parent's wealth people had the wrong idea about him and thought that he was also wealthy. However, he did not have the same stature as his parents, and day by day, the poverty in the household increased.
6. Because of the expansion of the family's needs and the number of mouths to feed had increased, the man began to worry and was filled with sadness.
7. The children were of marrying age. The sons got their wives, and then he needed to get his daughters married.
8. If the children were to remain unmarried, it is a shameful thing in society. People would ask what the purpose was of even giving them birth into such poverty.
9. In this way, the man was facing public shame and his father’s good name would be ruined. Who would loan him enough money to get the daughters married?
10. A previous loan that he had already taken out was not paid back. It was like a sky of despair had fallen upon him.
11. He was thinking, "We eat the food, but the food is also eating us." Day and night he was worried like this in his mind.
12. All of his credit was totally gone, and all of his belongings were in mortgage. He exclaimed, "Oh God, now the time has come for me to become bankrupt."
13. He took out another loan and was able to buy some household things, as well as some cows and buffaloes.
14. He became more in debt in order to make an outward show in society. The people all commented about how he had maintained the reputation of his father.
15. In this way it happened that he became deeply in debt and was surrounded by creditors, so he departed for a foreign country.
16. For two years he went into hiding, and accepted lowly service. His body suffered with many calamities.
17. Eventually, he earned some money abroad, and he began remembering his family back home. After asking permission from his employer, he returned home.
18. Meanwhile, his family had become very agitated, because they had been waiting anxiously to see him. They asked, "Oh God, what is the reason he has been gone for so long?"
19. They were wondering, "What shall we eat? Will we be forced to starve to death? Oh God, why have you put us in the family of such a man?"
20. In this way, they saw their own discomfort but they did not care to know anything of his suffering, and in the end when his strength was gone, none of them would have even come to his aid.
21. While they were waiting for him like this, suddenly, the children saw their father, and ran to him saying, "You have returned!"
22. Upon seeing him, his wife was very happy. She said, "Now our miseries are over." Then he gave out bundles that he had brought with him into the hands of his family.
23. Everyone in the family was happy. They said, "Our father has come, and he has brought us clothing and caps."
24. Their joy lasted for four days and then they began complaining saying, "If he leaves, we will be miserable again."
25. The family decided that whatever he had brought should remain there, and that he should return to the foreign country. He should return home again with some money when everything that they had to eat was gone.
26. It was agreed that this was the desire of all the family members. Everyone in the family was concerned only for their own comfort. Even his wife, who he loved very much, was only interested in her own comfort.
27. The man had worked very hard in the foreign country and had come home to take some rest. But he had barely taken a breath of rest when the time came for him to leave again.
28. The man consulted an astrologer, and discussed with him the auspicious time for his departure. However, the man's mind was entangled with his family, and he did not want to go.
29. He packed some medicine and some other things he would need, as well as some money. He looked at his children and said his good-byes before he went on his way.
30. He looked at his wife and felt the great sorrow of separation. Destiny had cut the connection of their being together.
31. He became choked up and could not speak, and he could not control his sobs. The children and the father were once again to be separated.
32. He said, "If it is our destiny, then we will meet again. If not, then this gathering is our last meeting."
33. Saying this, he rode away on horseback, looking back again and again. He could not bear the sorrow of separation, but nothing could be done.
34. He left his village behind, but his thinking was confused and he had become miserable because of the attachment and pride for his family life.
35. At that time, he remembered his mother, and said, "Oh! How blessed I was to have such a mother. She suffered so much for me but I was a fool and did not understand.
36. If she were still here today, she would not have allowed me to go abroad. She would have cried about separation from me, but her affection was of a special type.
37. Even if her son becomes a pauper, a mother accepts him like that. Seeing his sadness causes her to feel sadness within.
38. If thought is given about the family, it can be seen that a family can be re-acquired but one cannot get another mother, the one from whom this body has come into existence.
39. Even if the mother is a witch, the love she has for her child cannot be equalled, even by a thousand wives. But I forgot that, and wasted my time pursuing my sexual desires.
40. Because of sexual desire, I fought with those close to me, and made enemies out of my friends."
41. He said, "Blessed are those family people who cherish their parents, and are not cruel towards their relatives.
42. The association with wife and children will remain for one's life, but one cannot get their parents back after they are gone.
43. I had heard this before, but did not understand at that time. My mind was drowned in the pond of sexual pleasure.
44. These relatives who are my family are like enemies because they come to me only for my wealth. I would feel very ashamed to return to them empty-handed.
45. Now, I will have to do whatever I have to in order to earn money to take back to them. If I go back to them empty-handed, naturally it will cause everyone much grief."
46. In this way, he continued brooding, feeling overwhelmed with grief within. He was drowned in a flood of worries.
47. In this way, this body of ours becomes enslaved. One even turns their back on God and becomes a slave for the sake of family.
48. For fulfilling sexual desire one will spend the whole life working, and then at the end, when one has lived out all of their years, one only ends up going away alone.
49. In this way, he repented in his mind for a moment, and then once again, he got caught up in the net of Illusion.
50. He remembered his daughters and sons and felt sorrow in his mind beyond limit. He said, "Now, my children are separated from me."
51. He remembered his past sorrows and all of the sufferings that he had undergone. Then he started to cry out loud.
52. Crying there alone, there was no one to console him. Then, he started to question his own mind.
53. "Why should I weep now? I must accept whatever comes." Saying this to himself, he gathered courage.
54. Like this, troubled by his sorrows he continued on to a foreign land. The listener should listen attentively to the description of the situation that follows.